Living in the age of cellphones and computers, you think we’d all be much better at staying in touch with one another. And while it’s never been easier to reach out to someone through text, email or a quick social media message, many of us still struggle to stay connected.
But all of us know someone who’s always reaching out at the perfect time. Birthday texts and follow up messages are just the beginning. They never seem out of the loop and are always checking in after big events or inviting you out for coffee just to chat. So how do they keep it all straight when it seems impossible for so many of us? We have a few key strategies — and one special tip — for staying on top of communication, whether you are self-employed, work a remote job or just want to be better at connecting with your community.
Be intentional
Being intentional is great advice for anything you want to improve in life, but when it comes to your communication skills, you may struggle figuring out just what that means. It’s less about being intentional with what you say, and more about your timing, consistency and detail. A great place to start is considering when you’re connecting with people. Don’t wait until you need something to reach out. Forming great connections comes from small and consistent follow up that shows you care and pay attention when others speak. This can be as simple as checking in on how their weekend plans went, complimenting a piece of their work or asking about a topic you know they care about.
Keeping track of your relationships can also be improved with a bit of intention. It can be easy to stay on top of important dates or reminders for the people in our immediate circle, but that likely doesn’t apply to someone you’re just getting to know. Consider keeping updates in your calendar, taking notes on important details, setting reminders to call or text them and even scheduling time to meet for coffee or lunch. It may feel a bit disingenuous to fill your calendar and notes app with reminders to send a text, but you’ll find that the extra effort you’re putting into your relationship will make a difference.
Growing your sphere
Finding time to cultivate your established relationships is already difficult enough; creating brand new relationships can feel incredibly intimidating. But growing your network doesn’t have to be anxiety inducing. This First Round Review article has some excellent advice on deepening your connections and features interviews with industry experts and executives. One of those executives, Mike Steib, highlights two mistakes that can stand in the way of you getting to know people:
- Talking about ourselves: The first mistake Steib identifies is talking about ourselves too much. Humans like to be appreciated and are more than ready to help when they’re considered an expert, so we often try too hard to prove ourselves in early conversations. When you’re just getting to know someone, turn this process on its head by asking about them. Others have just as much to offer you as you have to offer them. Listen to learn and appreciate, not to pivot to your own experiences. Work to understand them more deeply with every interaction and you’ll find your relationship growing on its own!
- Conversational apprehension: Whether you’re afraid of not understanding or of taking up too much of their time, avoiding deep dives into conversational topics with people you’re getting to know isn’t helping you. Taking an interest in topics that your connection has deep knowledge of allows them to talk about their area of expertise and shows that you are paying attention to what interests them.
A rising tide
This special tip might not be so secret to some of you. You’ve likely already heard the saying “a rising tide lifts all boats.” Its meaning is a simple one: Improvement can and should benefit all members of the group. An important part of building a solid community is making sure your own wins touch others. As you gain more connections, introduce them to other members of your circle. Sharing this newfound perspective allows all of you to celebrate your wins together.
Keep in mind, your network supports you in the same way that you support them. When your focus is on benefitting your community with every win, a well-built community will pay it forward with each of their own successes.
To take advantage of these rising tides, don’t just build a single boat. Build a harbor full of them!
How do you stay connected with your community? Which relationship are you working to grow? Share your tips and let us know in the comments!
